🍦 Google Dropped the Banana Bomb!
🍦 Gemini 3 Unleashed, Bezos "Skynet Project" and one terrifying AI Teddy Bear >>
FOMA AI News
November 23, 2025
Scooped from multiple sources. Read it fast before it melts.
⚡ If you only have 1 minute...
Databricks added $30 billion in value: The Sinaloa cartel are now wondering if it’s too late to pivot from cocaine to cloud computing.
Google unleashed Gemini 3: Remember ya’ll spent two years poking the “sleeping giant”? Well, he just woke up and stepped on the entire village.
Jeff Bezos co-CEOs robot startup: It’s called “Project Prometheus,” presumably because “Skynet” was taken.
💰 Market Moves
[MARKET MOVES] Databricks added $30 billion in value in two months
The Sinaloa cartel are now wondering if it’s too late to pivot from cocaine to cloud computing.
[MARKET MOVES] Microsoft is investing $15 billion into Anthropic
Google slid in a few more billions last week, and now Claude has more sugar daddies than an LA influencer.
[MARKET MOVES] Lambda raised $1.5 billion
To build its super intelligence bubble i mean infrastructure
[MARKET MOVES] Cloudflare bought Replicate
To put 50,000 AI models on edge. Now the bot can lie to you locally instead of having to fetch the lie from a server in Virginia.
[MARKET MOVES] Intuit paid OpenAI $100 million
To put ChatGPT in TurboTax, effectively admitting the tax code is too complex for the species that invented it.
[MARKET MOVES] Adobe bought Semrush for $1.9 billion
To boost its AI marketing tools. Now the company that charges you a monthly fee to open a PDF can also automate the spam emails telling you to renew that fee.
[MARKET MOVES] Suno AI Music raised $250 million
At a $2.45 billion valuation, which means nothing to us fans, we follow musicians for the train wreck. Until this software can get a DUI and ruin a marriage, nobody’s gonna buy the t-shirt.
[MARKET MOVES] Physical Intelligence raised $600M
For a single physical “robot brain.” Prepare for your Roomba, smart fridge, and thermostat to hold a mandatory all-hands meeting in the kitchen to discuss Q4 cleaning objectives
🛠️ Tech & Product
[LAUNCHES] Google unleashed Gemini 3, Nano Banana Pro and IDE Antigravity
Remember ya’ll spent two years poking the “sleeping giant”? Well, he just woke up and stepped on the entire village. Nice job, smurfs.
[LAUNCHES] Cursor 2.1 is now available
With an interactive planning that asks clarifying questions before it starts working. Congratulations, your IDE now has the same performance anxiety of a junior dev.
[LAUNCHES] Microsoft unveiled “Agent 365”
Turning Windows into an autonomous “Agentic OS”, or as the Reddit tech community calls it “the best campaign for Ubuntu in history”
[LAUNCHES] WeatherNext 2 by Google’s DeepMind
Predicts disasters 8x faster, giving you exactly 10 extra minutes to tweet about the tornado before it hits your house.
[LAUNCHES] xAI released Grok 4.1
Claiming high emotional intelligence, which makes the chatbot significantly more emotionally stable than the man who owns it.
[LAUNCHES] TikTok is letting users control how much AI they see
That’s like trying to filter the pee out of a public swimming pool. It’s too late, guys. The water is already yellow. Just swim in it.
[LAUNCHES] Replit launched a new AI designer
Marketed it as “non-slop.” I love that “slop” is now a technical industry term. We’ve abandoned the Turing Test, the only benchmark that matters now is, “Does this look like pig feed?”.
[LAUNCHES] Warp the terminal thingy
Is now also a coding agent thingy. Soon being an developer just means watching a robot do your job for eight hours straight without checking your phone.
[LAUNCHES] OpenAI launched “GPT-5.1-Codex-Max”
Which is one version before”Codex-Mad-Max” in which two laid-off devs to fight in a Thunderdome for an unpaid internship. The AI then reviews the survivor’s blood-stained PR, and yells: “MEDIOCRE”
[LAUNCHES] Meta’s released SAM-3D
Which turns flat 2D photos into rotatable 3D objects, a godsend for Bumble users trying to spin a bathroom selfie 45 degrees
[LAUNCHES] NotebookLM added “Deep Research”
To scan hundreds of sites and generate reports. The AI writes the doc, your boss uses AI to summarize it, and no human actually reads it.
[LAUNCHES] Sunday Robotics revealed “Memo”
A robot trained on 10 million real household routines. Its primary function is sighing heavily while loading the dishwasher and muttering why he’s the only one who does anything around here.
🗣️ Industry Chatter
[CHATTER] Jeff Bezos put his midlife crisis on hold
To co-CEO a robot startup with $6 billion in funding. It’s called “Project Prometheus,” presumably because “Skynet” was taken. I’m sure this ends well and definitely doesn’t end with us living in cages.
[CHATTER] OpenAI leaked document shows
They spend nearly $9 billion on inference a year, which means that every time you said “please” in your prompts, a tree literally died.
[CHATTER] Paul McCartney released a silent song
To protest AI stealing music. To which the bots responded by scraping it anyway and selling it back as a Meditation App for 9.99$ monthly subscription.
[CHATTER] AI teddy bear was recalled
For traumatizing children. Seems like we skipped the “helpful assistant” part and jumped straight to “possessed doll.” Parents, if your toy needs a security patch to stop whispering 4Chan conspiracies into your toddler’s brain, return it. To a priest.
[CHATTER] Warren Buffett just bought $5 billion of Google
Which is the financial equivalent of your grandpa joining TikTok.
[CHATTER] Warner Music
The company that spent the 2000s suing teenagers into oblivion for downloading Metallica MP3s, is now building an AI music generator. Well played… Well played.
[CHATTER] Boston Dynamics updated its Atlas robot
With three-fingered hands for better grip. They claim it’s for logistics, to me it looks like it should be holding a pizza slice while screaming “Cowabunga!”
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